hi again tumblr.
my grandma’s just passed away like a couple hours ago.
more than sad I feel really guilty. I feel wronged for what I did to her on my last night before I left her. I didn’t even say a proper goodbye before I took my flight back home. because I thought I could return in any day shortly after my test.
it was just a week ago, where she kept asking me to sleep over her place when I was back to my hometown. the thing that she always did. i wasn’t able to fulfill her request profoundly and instead always gave her any silly reason to stay in my own place. though she always smile and always pray for my best, I think she may had thought that I am such an ignorant granddaughter.
lately this thought kept showed up on my mind. I was thinking that the next time I’m back, I’ll go and have a sleepover at her place. and stay in her room instead of sleeping in the living room. as I always did whenever I slept there. and will keep her company and do some talk before sleep.
however, it is too late for now. the rest only regret that left with me. I only want one chance to say to her that I really like her and truly love her. she was a blessing on earth and now had finally completed her journey. I hope her soul will rest in peace together with my grandpa whom I guess is waiting for her up there in heaven. may Allah grant them with peace and blessings.
Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un.
If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story.
Photography by Alex Cornell.
Alex Cornell is a designer and musician from San Francisco, with a diverse range of work in his portfolio. He’s created editorial designs, identities, photography and some great cd/dvd covers forISO50.
Alex is a cofounder of Firespotter Labs, a Google Ventures funded startup. He has also worked for IDEO, Plancast, and many other Bay Area companies as a UI/UX and brand designer.
See more of Alex Cornell via here: alexcornell.com
Just trying to get my geek-side come back to life. I don’t know how I always ended up buying books but almost never touch it. I kinda struggling over some minor life matters that ‘they’ said you shouldn’t think too much about it but those stuffs keep turning back to my mind. I think that is why I like bookstores. I went there when I really had so many things in my mind and tired of thinking. It is not like I like to spend the whole day, drinkin coffee in their cafe while reading some books. I just like coming there, exploring some synopsis, and somehow buy some. I realized I lost my passion for reading since quite sometime. I can say since the past 4 years, I only read like 2-3 books I guess— textbooks and journals are exception. Well, but now I found a couple of books lying in my shelves and I pity them for not being read. So I picked one, and bring it along with me in my solo trip last week. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is my choice. I bought it about three months ago, in the submission day, after weeks dying over my deadlines. I hadn’t watch the movie, so I can say that I bought the book merely because of Emma Watson in there— since I used to be a Harry Potter hardcore fan. I just read the brief explanation about it but never open it at all, until last week. Right to be said, this is the first novel that I read after two years probably. Well, so yea I just finished reading it like 4 and half hours ago, and right after that I went straight to watch the movie. Because I insisted that not gonna watch it until I finish my reading. When I read the book I didn’t expect that it is a that kind of story. A teen with mental illness. I saw the trailer before, but it didn’t look like a story of a boy with struggling mind. In some point, I feel like I can relate with his situation. Questioning everything but never really do much about it. Just wondering about it, and sometimes just ended up with my own-made analysis. Okay skip that part, the thing is I kinda critical throughout the movie. The book is really well written, and I have my own picture in my head about the characters, the situation, the feel and everything. But during the movie, I found it disappointed at some point. Telling the truth I really like the casts, they’re great. I’ve been a fan of Logan and Emma since long time ago, and I am a new fan of Ezra. But, the story in the movie showed different feeling. The script didn’t described much about the characters, and the casts seem unable to get deep with their roles. It didn’t do the same with the book had told me. I was about to blame the stupid director but surprisingly, the director is the author himself. Well know I don’t know what to say. I just don’t understand what the author feels about the story. I think the book is really great, but lose it meaning after I watched the movie.
“Alice In Wonderland” (1915)
I can feel it slaps me right in the face.it hurts, ya it is. mad, yes I am.
At the end of the day, you create your own reality. Don’t expect anything from your “good” deeds. True generosity means giving freely without expectation of reimbursement because you already have everything you could ever ask for. Clinging to expectations creates suffering. Accept that “bad” things occasionally happen and learn to see them for what they truly are.
but you put the happy in my ness
you put the good times into my fun
and it’s so hard to do
and so easy to say
sometimes you just have to walk away